What happened during I wasn’t here

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So that’s one of the recent events happened during my absence.

I was sittin in the church with all other teens during retreat, when I realised how much energy does the church contain. I could feel it everywhere; the walls, the saint pictures, the ceiling… I couldn’t resist stealing some of this. If other people or objects are just filled with large amounts of energy, why can’t I just “borrow” some, if my energy is always running out?  I closed my eyes and mentally levitated over these all people. I had to imagine I’m over them.

Then, the rest of process was well-known to me. I kept the sight of these people stil in my vivid imagination, and started to imagine I’m soaking up their energy, I’m sucking it from them…

I opened my eyes exactly the moment I would do it during previous “feasts”. And I felt even more dizzy than ever before. My eyes opened very widely, I could see in much wider angle than normally. I was sitting with my eyes opened like psychopath for over 5 minutes. I can’t imagine what the people could think about me, but it couldn’t be anything good.

Each time I steal energy it gives me a little “high”. Like after big bottle of beer. The large amount of energy may simply dissolve in blood and when the brain receives it, it affects it just like drug or alkohol. That’s my thesis. Weird and freaky, so it suits me.

So, It seems that not only people can store energy, but buildings too. Or maybe the buildings steal energy from us? That could be why we feel so exhausted in some places and energetic in other venues. But these questions will be likely never answered…


The truth beneath the rose

Long time not seen.

I’ve had a lot of things to do. A lot of things happened as well.

Recent days seemed rather normally. Some school, some hangout with friends, some beer etc.. But despite these absolutely normal events, there also were some… unusual. Looks like uncomonness is just permanently inscribed into my life, whether I like it or not. No matter if I’m just fed up with that; it doesn’t care about me.

Let’s get to the point I’ve made recently. The point about my, ok, let’s call it, a little unusual “powers”. I’ve examined them a lot recently.

I’ve gotten some intresting results. As noticed before, the uncomonness is probably the problem of my whole family. And maybe it can be inherited? Maybe.

But the most logical explaination for my weird skill is that people are just prone to become what they want to be. Like “vampires” really believe they are real vamps, who must drink other people’s blood. People who want to recover bounce back finally; and vice versa, if one doesn’t want to bounce back, they will probably develop another condition or deepen existing one.

So… following this hypothesis, I may have wanted to become a really unusual person. I’ve always considered myself to be doomed to exist among weirdos. That could also explain why I became a stranger too.

Ok, the past is not to be concerned about. I don’t care why I became the person I’m now. What is done is done. The fact is that can’t live without stealing energy everyday.

But it’s still better than sucking blood, isn’t it?

And, as I mentioned before, I examined my skills deeply and now I do believe it is possible. Even if I don’t receive pure energy, even if it’s only an illusion, a placebo, it’s still valuable, because it gives me a chance not to sleep at school 🙂

I need energy more than anyone else. Every day costs me a lot of energy. When my mates have a lot of power after school, I return home exhausted. All I want to do is to sleep.

And believe me, I can sleep long. Very long.

I’m not a mad Twillight or whatever fan who insists they have special powers. They even sharpen their teeth to look like fangs. I’m not one of them because I realise it can be a bullshit.

But it’s still a bullshit that let’s me live. Live like every other human.


The new era

Today’s day was different. Again. My life became full of difference. Why? I don’t know.

I was just sitting during break at school. But sitting with no life inside me. Exhausted. Even though I’d been sleeping for over 8 hours at night. Worn down. Literally drained.

I was thinking about my past, about beautiful moments I had spent among my mates, sitting, chatting, doing many things friends usually do. Maybe not friends. I’d never had any real friend. So let’s call em just mates.

But… I realised one vital fact. Each time they had spent more than 2 hours with me, they had become really tired, while I had been still full of life, entertained and energetic. Why? Looks like I… I HAD BEEN TAKING THEIR ENERGY.

Suddenly a weird and brilliant thought dawned on me. What if I can still drain energy from others?

So exhausted was I, that I decided to try. I closed my eyes slowly and thought some words I would say these times when I was meeting with my friends. I imagined that very vividly. Then…

I felt a cold shiver on my back. I opened my eyes and noticed with amazement that I received a big portion of energy. Sudden injection. My eyes opened very widely.  I felt very dizzy as well, so I was lucky I was sitting. My mate I drained energy from said “I’m feeling strangely, what did you do?”.

I’ve never been keen on believing in supernatural powers. Ghosts? No. Demons? Maybe. But not in this world. Miracles? There are no miracles. You have what you deserve. Nothing more, nothing less..

But today’s event was… was something truly new to me. I’ve heard about energetic vampires, but… Do they exist? I’ve always doubted.

My example gives me a lot to think about.

And I don’t want to drink blood today. Maybe I bounced back, and won’t need it anymore. But I doubt it. I’m gonna return to doing this as soon as any problem appears… Or moon reaches its full 🙂

I don’t want to do it. But it seems I’ll have to. I’m hooked. Never wanted to realise that but… I’m addicted. And I can’t do anything about that.

Or maybe the energy drained mentally from others will be enough? Time will tell…


Hey. My name is Jackie.

I used to think I’m a ordinary human. Like my parents. Aunts. Classmates. But I was mistaken.

My story is fully authentic, It’s not fiction. We experience too much fiction these days. I said to myself that I would create something unusual, but still real. And my story is so.

I wouldn’t call my life easy. Of course, probably 80% of people would say that their life is much worse that others. And I realise that many people have worse problems that I do. That seems normal.

But that’s not a point. I’ve always tried to be unusual. I’ve never done anything radical to ensure my uniqueness. But it seems it came just itself, without my noticing or willing.

And this uniqueness fits perfectly my problems. Problems that I won’t introduce you to. Not yet. Other people find various ways to cope with their troubles. Alcohol. Lame. Drugs. Lame. Cigarettes. Lame. Lame, because they are everywhere. Just look through window. I didn’t want to be like others. I don’t want it. I will never want.

One day I cut myself incidentally. The cut was dirty; I decided to suck it. That’s perfectly normal and automatical behavior. But in that point the normality runs out. Such was the smell of this blood; such was it’s taste, wonderful, mouth-watering… I found my uniqueness. Oh, that’s not whole uniqueness I have. But it’s one of most vital I own.

You may think I’m a vampire. I’m not. I can see myself in a mirror. Vampires don’t exist. And I’m not a radical thoughtless Twilight fan that wants to be just like Edward. That sucks.

You may also think I’m insane. Now you’re a little more right. But only a little.

Ok. That was a short introduction. I won’t tell you all my secrets at once. Let’s create just a little air of mystery. Goodbye.